Humming to Your Tune

My survival kit: Bible, Book, Notebook and Ballpen.

It's been a week and still much more will come! :)

Things happened and nothing was within my sphere of control. My work has been fun, even reading my bible became twice more exciting. To wake me up in the morning, reading the bible is a must and praying gives strength to me. In these days of praying and fasting, my heart is my Achilles heel and God is my strength. Sleepless night have visited me and even sleepy mornings haunted me. I yearned for more than what I have and yet even when I have more, I can't have enough of Jesus.

I've been tested. My faith was shaken several times and yet I have no other choice but to go back to Him and sit at His feet in surrender. My friends are not my source of comforts, internet has no bearing and even my family is not a safe refuge. Only Jesus renews me even when I feel so tired.

I'm not sure how I can describe the thoughts that I have right now because I absolutely have no idea how I can even find the words to describe it. It's like an abstract painting or a beautiful falling star that mesmerizes you for a quick moment but because it came by so fast, you have no time to even say 'Look' but even the word may not be the best word to describe that beautiful moment.

It's crazy and it can be frustrating but all these thoughts and emotions that are just flooding me is part of the process. I'm a functioning human body and I have thoughts, emotions and actions. Sometimes my actions doesn't agree with my thoughts nor do my emotion agree with my thoughts. It's at those crazy moments when you just want to go home and pack your things and go somewhere far to a place that has not been explored and seek a beauty similar to that falling star that only lasts for a moment.

A lot of things are just for the moment and yet that moment is not something you would ever let pass. It's just for a moment but it's like an investment to eternity. To have that glimpse, to have that moment to actually see the biggest surprise of your life. It's like taking a peak in the key hole and see a whole wonderful world beyond the door. It's like Alice in Wonderland and Peter in Neverland. A whole new world with a great promise but the promise that lies beyond is a land of milk and honey, a land that'll last for eternity. The land of  hope, the land of life.

Mid-Year Crisis

(I got this from Kris. Yey!) 

It's half of the year and time just flew by so fast that I didn't realize how crazy things are! I resigned from my old work, I got absorbed by our client. I was struggling in this area of my life only to realize it was something deeper then I used to hang-out with this person then the tides have turned and I'm hanging out with a whole different set of people from before. Change has been very constant this year but the bigger picture is, I'm being transformed day-by-day and God is not finished with me yet!

Just a quick recap of this year, January was eventful then February flew by so fast that I was surprised when March came so slow. April was okay with the long vacation and such and May just zoomed-in on me and I felt like it passed by like the wind. Then June came, I was torn between the start and the end of the month. Yup, the first half of 2012 is like a roller coaster ride for me. It has its ups and downs and those sudden turns that makes you feel like you left your self back there only to later realize that you're still in your sit, ready to go through more twists and turns.

Yup, I think there's still a lot of twist and turns and I might throw up at one point or survive with grace!

So to face the mid-year with the full armor of God, we're going to have a prayer and fasting at our church and I'm very excited. When I was asking God what kind of fast should I do? Immediately, God impressed in me what to do and when I meditated in the Word, I felt encouraged and excited!

A quick funny story of myself before I end my blog entry. The past few weeks, I had a steady low appetite. I've hardly finished my food and I always tend to just eat what's in my plate and want to throw up when I eat more than I should. I noticed this but I dismissed it. Another notable fact is that I kind of started to lose weight. I know I'm going to the gym but somehow I knew this is not from the gym. Just this Sunday, I found out about the fasting! I was surprised! Seriously! I wasn't prepared! How can I prepare myself for this when I have only a day left? That's not good... I usually prepare a week before. As I panicked, I realized my weird eating habits. Oh okay. God prepared me even before I prepared myself. WOW!

So fasting! Here we go again! ;)