My Walk with God

How many times has it been that I have said... "God, I love you" yet somehow, the words just seem like they're flying out of the window and that my heart is not IN it... there was no feeling of guiltiness though... It was simply like... I was merely stating that fact without any real intentions. Cruel? Very...

After some time, I faced a lot of things in life and with whatever I do... I didn't exactly call for God's help nor did I raise my hands up to the heavens above and cried loudly "...Jesus help me". I find that I'm more capable of handling things and I don't want to trouble God of what's happening with me, HE should bother with those who are in more need. I was confident with myself, more confident than I could ever imagined.

Some months later, I encountered a problem and knowing myself, no matter how painful an event could be I will never-ever-ever cry or ask for anyone's comfort. I was devastated. I had no where to run to... not my friends or family or the people I know. It was merely me against the world. I was at the brink of approaching a friend or two but no mater what I do I just can't find the HEART to open up to them because I knew very well... the barrier I built to protect my heart is too strong... too powerful than even I who built it couldn't break it... that's when I closed my eyes and prayed "God, help me... Please be beside me, I need you".

After that everything around me changed. I realized how much I needed God in my life that if all else fails HE's the only one who will LOVE me more than I could ever LOVE HIM and that HE's the only one who understands me more than anyone else and that the barrier I built against others has already been penetrated without me realizing... penetrated by HIM.

Why did HE do such a thing? After all the half-meant "I love you" that I've said and the thank you that weren't really meant... I knew in my heart that my prayers were merely out of respect and acknowledgment that HE deserves and yet HE did all THIS! It was too much and too unworthy of me to receive, the tears in my eyes were no longer about the pain I've felt but to the shame I felt... I was so shameful to be half-hearted when GOD was serious about me all the time.

Now, I realized that GOD isn't just caring, loving, blessing, merciful, all-powerful and all that... HE is also someone who accepts you the moment you accept HIM and that HE will take care of you even if you're half-hearted because HE knows that no matter how HALF-HEARTED you are, someday, You who has accepted HIM will also reciprocate the LOVE HE gives to you and though it may take some time, the moment you can honestly say "Jesus Christ, my Lord, my God, you are the love of my life the strength and the light" is the moment that you'll realize... in your WALK in life, at first you were behind GOD but now, you're walking right beside HIM.

Pictures can talk

Pictures can talk... :D Check out why!

When it comes to vanity... I'm not really into in but here are two pics they took of me so that's that... hahaha~

For GOD

I am finally entering something into my blog again but don't blame me for updating, I'm just the typical me... lazy. Hahaha~ but anyway, I bet you MISS me so I'll be really really REALLY and I won't be teasing you a lot... what the HECK am I talking about? I'm a bit sleepy right now so that must be it... "Sleepiness is dangerous". So you have been PRE-WARNED!!!

Anyway, enough about me going crazy while it's still early... yeah, dead early! It's near 1 o'clock and I'm still AWAKE... grrr, I want to SLEEP but working on my literature term paper is a bit of a drag and it needs a lot of intensive research.. what's a girl to do? WORK. bow. Hehehe~ I know I haven't been working on things a lot lately and I've been pretty lazy and stuff but I still want to give my BEST because that's all that I can give plus I pray which is better than the best, it's best than the best. Yet somehow, I know that in order to achieve that I also need to do something in return. I can't exactly always pray for everything to happen! There's magic, yes, but there's no such thing as an achievement without any effort and somehow I want to give all the effort that I can give into what I do because I know that in doing so, I can proudly give it to GOD.

So furthermore, I'll be going to the Polythenic University of the Philippines which is also known as P.U.P.. The reason I'm going there is because I want a break. I can't exactly live my life on the same things. I need to recharge my batteries and remember who I REALLY AM! It's not that I'm lost or something like that... it's just that. I want to see me, and be me. I think I already lost a lot of things in life and somehow, GOD told me that there are other things that I need to take a look at. I'm an idiot. I do a lot of idiotic things. That's what we, idiots, do best. Somehow, I want to mend the broken things... there's always hope even in what we humans consider as hopeless because I believe in GOD and as long as HE believes in us... I don't have any RIGHT to GIVE UP the fight. We all go through things like this... we just need to work hard and give it our best because GOD is always with us, and HE is with us even if we don't see HIM. Believe. Have faith.

I'm probably going religious right now, but it's what I do best. I made a lot of mistakes and I want you to know that there's still hope in fixing things and I don't want to give up because in doing so... then I'm giving up on GOD.

Stay strong!

Have faith!!

Trust GOD as I do to HIM. Give EVERYTHING to HIM and HE will give EVERYTHING to You as HE did to ME.

I give this blog entry to GOD, for always guiding and loving me, despite the fact that I'm so useless, hopeless and selfish. HE is my inspiration, light, guide, and life.

I love HIM

but HE loves me more...

I adore HIM

but HE adores me more...

I cherishes HIM

but HE cherishes me more...

I can never be like HIM but somehow, I know that by BELIEVING and LOVING HIM... is more than enough for HIM. I could give HIM more, but HE does not asks for it...

HE is the BEST oF THE BEST OF THE BEST. Somehow, I don't think saying that is enough... HE is MORE than words can measure.